This is how I troll

Note: The following is not considered a "typical" TFTG post. I just really wanted to get this out there. Regularly scheduled programming will resume when I feel like it.

Yesterday evening I was lurking Facebook, and I came across the profile of a high-schooler named Clay. In one of his semi-recent statuses, he wrote "Top 10 cutest girls," followed by a numbered list of girls he apparently thought were cute, with links to each of their Facebook profiles.
Now, I'm not one to put my admittedly large nose in other peoples' business, but since the status was public and I felt that these girls were being ridiculously disrespected, I decided to comment on the status and voice my opinion (read: "troll the shit out of him"). This is the shitstorm that followed (slightly abridged, for both length and continuity):

My Other Life

Since I'm lazy and have only written half of this week's post, I'm going to republish something I wrote almost two years ago. I promise it's just as funny as the day I released it. Enjoy. New material will be posted this sometime later this week.

I lived a completely false online life for three days using Omegle.

Omegle is a chatroom that connects you with a random person around the world. These strangers can range from horny Turkish men to Chinese people using a IP address-masking site to chat with people. It's interesting, fun, and scary.

So I decided to do something interesting. I decided to create a person, and live that life via Omegle. Here is a little bit about "me":

Name: Nicole Myers

Date of birth: January 19, 1983 (age 26)

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Green

Height: 5'5

Weight: 115-125 (depending on "the time of the month").

Location: San Fransisco, California, USA by way of Tyler, Texas, USA.

Occupation: Receptionist at a law firm.

Other parts of my persona:

-I own a male cat named Pablo.

-I went to law school for six years, and graduated seven months ago.

-My father has connections in the business, and got me a job in SF. He is rich, and paid for my college education. He is expecting me to work my way up the ladder.

-I live in a two-bedroom house on a hill on a street with trolleys that pass by.

-I am a workout fiend. I own a treadmill and enjoy swimming.

-I like my men built, but not bulky.

-I can't seem to find a good man in SF that isn't either gay or an asshole. Or both.

Under this persona, I managed to get a few bites. One was a single, 40 year old man living in Texas. One was a 28 year old Norweigian milk factory worker. But the most interesting by far was a 20 year old SoCal-based video editor named Troy.

He and I had a two-hour conversation that was mostly about "me," and how cute he thought I sounded. Green eyes drive him crazy, he likes to surf, and is absolutely a cocky, shameless douchebag with an IQ in the double-digits.
Anyways, Troy and I chatted it up outside of Omegle. I created an email address (nicolemyers83@gmail.com) and talked back and forth with him for about two days.

This is a social experiment conducted on a complete stranger; unbiased and absolutely aloof. Ladies and gentlemen, I present:

The Troy and Nicole Emails